


i'll be your home

by mourningafter



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bang Chan-centric, Drabble, Falling In Love, Lee Minho | Lee Know is a Sweetheart, Multi, Polyamory, Soft Bang Chan, i wrote this while listening to the rose and nct, mentions of the eliminations, minchanlix, sleepy lee felix, stray kids - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-14 18:21:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18953248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mourningafter/pseuds/mourningafter
Summary: chan is reflecting on his love for his two boyfriends.





	i'll be your home

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this is so short, i am so whipped for minchanlix :')   
> please enjoy!

the alarm clock on their bedside table read eight at night. the moon outside their window shone inside the room, casting a soft glow onto the wooden floors. on the bed laid the three boys, wrapped up in each other’s arms, weights being lifted off of them.

chan can’t remember the last time he got a chance to breathe like this. to slow down, stop thinking so much, enjoy having his boys in his bed and hearing their soft breathing. everything has been so overwhelming, his mental health declining slowly for the past few weeks, and moments like this just felt like fresh air. 

they were in no hurry. there was no rush to get to another deadline. to finish anything or speed through practices, muscles aching and brains on overdrive. no; this was peaceful. relaxing. this was what home was supposed to feel like.

in his arms lay felix, his blonde hair falling on his forehead and his eyes shut. he didn’t snore, at least. chan had his arms wrapped around felix’s waist, felix’s head close to his chest, feeling safe and secure with his boyfriend. 

meanwhile, minho laid on felix’s other side, curled up into felix’s back. his hand fisted felix’s shirt, fingers grasping the material. he snored but it was never loud. 

relieved. chan was relieved. to see both of his boyfriends finally sleeping the way they should’ve been for the past few weeks. the way felix just melted into chan, the way minho begged for attention that night because he hasn’t been able to have it for so long. it broke the oldest’s heart.

they all were needy in their own ways. chan needed reassurance that he was doing okay. felix needed to relax. minho needed attention. but out of them all, chan decided that minho was the most patient.

the boy had been through a lot. he was struggling to keep his head up as the weeks went by, as the album’s release date grew nearer. his eyes were shadowed and he looked defeated. he felt alone, chan could feel it in his chest. so when he finally gets his time with chan or felix, you can watch the stress melt from his brown eyes as he falls into the boy’s arms.

minho was so strong. he needed attention on him, to feel so safe and at home, he needed love that he thought he didn’t deserve. how wrong he was just made chan want to scream — minho deserved everything. every ounce of love that he and felix had to give. chan would do anything just to see that grin on minho’s lips, that glint in his eye. 

felix was so patient. dancing and practicing his vocals every day with what seemed like no end. his shoulders were tense, his head clouded; yet every time he saw chan or minho, he would smile. smile even though he needed to relax and maybe cry, because he needed to show he was okay. what chan would do to have felix melt in his arms like this every single night.

he’s in love. in love with the way felix mumbles quiet ‘i love you’s into chan’s skin before he drifts off to sleep. in love with the way minho reached his hand out, begging for it to be held — and when chan held it, minho gave it one squeeze and gave him a look of relief. when minho falls asleep, chan falls in love with the way minho immediately cuddles up to felix, not afraid.

when they first all got together, it was awkward. the relationship used to be chan and minho — two boys with similar minds and a goal in sight. they spent nights talking about how they can’t wait for the relief of being an idol, can’t wait until they’ve made it. suddenly, felix stumbles into the picture.

another boy from australia. struggling with his korean and clearly scared and confused. chan immediately found a liking to the young boy. felix was full of hope and dreams, not wanting to give up his chance to fulfill a dream. that’s when chan discovered he was in love.

of course, it was hard. it’s hard to explain to your lover that you’re in love with two people. how to explain that you want to be happy with both of them in your arms. at first, minho was hurt. he cried that night in chan’s arms, silently worrying that he wasn’t enough.

he was enough. minho has always been enough. and then: minho met felix.

to minho, felix was full of life. full of joy and excitement, giving him a wide smile when they meet. he gives minho a secure hug, one that almost feels similar; like chan’s. 

that’s when minho realizes that it’s weird. weird falling in love with two people. he doesn’t understand it, but it’s happening to him. 

telling felix together was weird. he was confused, and he couldn’t believe it. minho was scared. chan was brave. minho was soft and chan was assertive. felix found himself falling in love, too, and when it was all said and done, they became three.

of course, nothing good lasts.

with the group finally formed, then came the reality show. chan grew anxious and tired, almost shutting his two boyfriends out. the stress of the show fell onto his shoulders. worry coursed through his veins constantly. he broke down a lot and all felix and minho could do was whisper small ‘it will be okay’s and hug him.

then came minho’s elimination. it slapped chan across the face as he was just so shocked. he couldn’t believe it. he was losing the person he’s had in his arms the longest. he cried with minho in his arms that night, felix sitting on the edge of the bed, sobs falling through his lips. minho was eliminated and felix could be. he could lose them both.

with minho gone, everything got worse. worse for chan’s mental state. felix was distraught constantly, suddenly more serious. he played it off on camera, trying his best to be lee felix, the boy with the beautiful smile and deep voice. he was hurting, but he was trying.

chan’s fingers often found themselves in felix’s those nights, tears traveling down faces as they talked. they would talk about the show. they would remind each other that they were each other’s stones, and that this pain would pass. minho was still their boyfriend. they would make it worse. 

breaking point. felix gets eliminated, and chan can feel his whole soul drain from his body. he watches as his boyfriend sobs, unable to move, as jisung moves close to him. felix’s cries fill the room, and chan can physically feel all the pain.

he wants to kiss felix and tell him it’s all okay. if the cameras were gone, chan would wrap felix up in his arms and whisk him away, a promise of forever on the tip of his tongue. felix sobbed and sobbed, and finally, chan got to be close with him. he said his words, desperately wanting to reach out and wipe the tears away.

that night, they lay in bed, not surprised when minho sneaks out of where he’s been placed and pays a visit to them. together they all cry, comforting each other as chan realizes that he’s alone. he’s lost two of the most important people in his life.

when it’s announced that felix and minho have a last chance, chan is ecstatic. he can’t believe they can make it. he can’t believe that this could be the good news he’s been silently praying to. the news spreads smiles on faces as they work harder than ever to ensure that it will be the nine of them together.

he’ll never forget that night. when it’s said that they will debut as nine instead of seven. his vision was blurry as felix stumbled towards him on the stage, and they melted into a strong hug, smiles not falling away. nine. chan had his two boys with him. 

in bed, minho was jumping off the walls from happiness, sitting beside chan. felix was on chan’s lap, arms wrapped around his neck as he cried all the tears he had to offer. minho was pressing kisses on his boyfriends’ lips, he was rubbing felix’s back, but the same feeling was floating around the room.

they would be okay.

chan still believed it. as he stares at their sleeping bodies, the same feeling falls into his stomach. they would be okay. they would always persevere and make it through. he runs his fingers through felix’s hair, watching the boy’s eyelashes flutter open, sleep evident in his eyes. 

“channie?” he asks, a yawn coming out of his mouth. “why are you still up?”

chan smiles. “just thinking, baby. get some sleep, yeah? you both deserve it.”

“so do you,” minho says from the other side of felix. “come on and sleep with us. we all deserve sleep.”

felix sits up now, rubbing at his eyes. “agreed. chan, switch me spots. wanna cuddle with you in the middle.”

after some switching, chan is in the middle. he let’s felix find comfort in his side, putting his hand on the younger boy’s waist to pull him close. minho is curled up with his head on chan’s chest, sleep now coming into chan’s view. 

“you’ve done amazing, channie. sleep now. i love you,” felix whispers, and when sleep finally falls over the oldest, felix sighs. “what do you think he was thinking about?”

“hyung thinks a lot. but this looked like a good thought process,” minho yawns. “probably about you. or me. or us both. he seemed happy.”

felix nods. “i hope he’s happy.”

“he is. he would tell us if he wasn’t. get some sleep, lix. i love you so much.”

“i love you, min.”

**Author's Note:**

> twitter - minchanIix


End file.
